By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I wish you could order shots online.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
