I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize