hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
