Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
