the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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