Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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