why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize