i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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