is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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