i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
