At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
