you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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