yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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