her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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