I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
