i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize