do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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