I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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