I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
