do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
