do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
