Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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