shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
