I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
