Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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