Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
