how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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