i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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