hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
