there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize