guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
