so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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