you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize