bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
