Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
