party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
