what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You had me at "let me see your balls"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
