White coat. Heels.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
