either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
