I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
