Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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