i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
