Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
