You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
