every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
