I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
