i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
These tits shall not be calmed
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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