Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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