We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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