Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
