No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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