I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it's like iHOP with fire
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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