just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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