i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
one might say we're banned from that church
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He? As in you personified your dick?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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