I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
