I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
