Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
