love makes seman taste better
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
