Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
