Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
